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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Top 4 Stupid Things About Pakistan and What We Should Do About Them

I know that this subject has been overdone the past week or so since the Bin Laden killing, but I wanted to add my two cents.  Here are my Top 4 Stupid Things about Pakistan that are so very High School.  Time to take off the idiot hats:

4) Resting on their Laurels from the 80’s.  Okay yes, they helped us immensely with the war against the Russians in the early 1980’s (did you ever catch Charlie Wilson’s War with Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts?…if not, you should!) by brokering a deal between the U.S., Israel, Afghanistan and the Pakistani’s to provide arms and ammunition to the Afghans that resulted in a devastating loss for the all mighty Red Army.  It was a huge victory for that region of world and tilted the balance of power towards the west.  It was also a major impetus towards the ultimate disintegration of the USSR.  But hey, that was 30 years ago, and the global environment has changed drastically since then.  So get with it Pakistan and clean up your act!

3) Acting up when you’re caught red handed.  Wow, do you really have to behave like a bunch of spoiled children after getting your hand swatted trying to reach into the cookie jar coming home from school?!!  Waving your anti-American banners, cheering for reform against the policies of our country, and looking like you’re the ones who are the victims of some U.S. invasion into your domain is really not the way to keep up good relations with the oh so needed west.  It just makes your people look like a gang of stupid chickens running around with your heads cut off.  Get a clue and act your age already!

2) Being a safe haven for the most sought after terrorists since 2002.  I’m surprised Expedia doesn’t have a dedicated page on their website focused on Pakistan as a major Al Qaeda vacation spot for the biggest and baddest terror suspects around the globe.  Ramzi Yousef (the 1993 Word Trade Center bomber), Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (the 9/11 mastermind), Ramzi Binalshib (who sought to be 9/11’s 20th hijacker), and Abu Zubaydah (a 9/11 operative) were all found in luxury homes in posh neighborhoods in the country.  And to top it off, Osama Bid Laden, who was shot and killed this month in another similar lavish household, was surprisingly located just 800 yards away from their military officer training facility.  So I guess as a prize for murdering, torturing and antagonizing the whole western world your punishment is to get full immunity and comfortable living arrangements for you and your family, and military security to boot.  Wow, maybe I should sign up too!

1) Freely accepting $3.4 Billion PER YEAR in aid from the U.S…to fight and find terrorists!  Yes, I have to admit Pakistan has done a generally good job in the overall war on terror against Al Qaeda, and most specifically as an entry point for the U.S. into Afghanistan.  But I say generally, and not nearly enough to warrant high marks on their scorecard after 9 years of safely harboring these zealot Jihadists and spitting in our faces when they are found to be caught in the act.  A true partnership involves trust and transparency, and not two-faced back stabbing that you’d normally find on the Housewives of Orange County or Jersey Shore!  You need to stop spending our hard earned tax money on creating your nuclear arsenal and put a greater emphasis on where these dollars are supposed to be focused on...terrorist abolishment! 

So what should we do about this now?  How about creating a Pakistani-U.S. task force that regularly reviews the situation there, and is made up of both military and non-military personnel, so that there is equal representation from those not so closely tied to the establishment most likely creating the protection for these terror suspects?  Also, instead of giving a blanket $3.4 Billion every year, how about instituting some sort of incentivized plan for success in the region in stomping out terror?  Lastly, since their nuclear build up has become so aggressive in recent years, how about penalizing them and taking away some of that scratch for not using our aid in ways that were supposed to be used. 

Just some random thoughts and ideas from a curious doctor.  Till next time…   


Just drop a $1 Million dollar atomic bomb in the middle of Pakistan every year. Save $3,399,000,000 every year.

Mission accomplished!

How about leaving all Islamic countries alone (including providing NO trade or aid deals) to sort out their many "issues" and STOPPING issuing any visas (immigration, business, tourist, student or other) to any males aged 13 or older (save perhaps the avowedly gay ones) from the Islamic world?

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