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Friday, July 15, 2011

Top 25 Reasons Why the MTV Generation is Over the Hill

Have you recently been driving in your car kicking a little Snoop Dogg on the old Kenwood, bobbing your head in the air like you just don’t care?

Yeah, I got news for you, Chief. You’re old.

Once upon a time, a generation used hip-hop culture to assert their coolness. That group is quickly sliding towards middle-age and I have a feeling that they honestly don’t realize it. So, here’s your wake up call…this fall, that self-same Snoop Dogg turns 40.

The tracks that made him famous, from Dr. Dre’s “The Chronic” will turn 20 next year. Dre himself is now 46-years-old. Ice Cube, he of the Coors Light commercials, is 42. NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton” was released 23 years ago.

Want to keep going? Maybe you were on the East Coast, so you weren’t paying that much attention to NWA. 
To Get Fit!

OK, well, Chuck D. is just about to turn 51-years-old. I’m sure he’s still fighting the power…it just takes him a little longer to get up to do it now. Eric B. is 45. Rakim is 43 and Big Daddy Kane will hit that mark in about a month. LL Cool J celebrated his 43rd while filming “NCIS: Los Angeles.” The Overweight Lover, Heavy D is 44. He’s now the Overweight Lover of Lipitor. Kool Moe Dee is getting ready to celebrate his 49th birthday.

Still think you look good in those pictures with the high-top fade? Well, maybe you can look at them while you watch the DVD of “Do The Right Thing.” It came out long enough ago (1989) that it would qualify to be on a classic movie channel. “Boyz n the Hood” came out 20 years ago. “House Party” 21 years ago (Kid is 47, Play is 49 and Martin Lawrence is 46).

Now, I’m sure that there’s a group of people reading this that are thinking, “None of this applies to me.” Maybe you were wearing flannel in the 1990’s. Okee-doke then, you Pixies lover you….Pearl Jam’s “Ten” and Nirvana’s “Nevermind” both came out 20 years ago. Kurt Cobain has been dead for 17 years. His daughter will turn 18 this year.

Eddie Vedder is 47-years-old. So is Chris Cornell. Billy Corgan is 44. Speaking of The Pixies, Black Francis is 46 and Kim Deal is 50. Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon is 58.

OK, so you were listening to something a little heavier, perhaps? Rage Against the Machine’s Zach de la Rocha is 40. Slash is 46. Axel Rose is 49. Metallica’s James Hetfield will hit 48 this year, as will Lars Ulrich.

One last thing, for those who maybe weren't watching MTV for the videos…Eric Nies from the original cast of “The Real World” just turned 40. Puck is 42.

So, there you have it: you’re old. Don’t feel too bad, it happens to everyone sooner or later. Try to take it with as much dignity as you can muster, and if you want to break out the Kangol and dookie chain to relive the memories now and again, it’s fine.

Just make sure the shades are drawn before you do.


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